Much as it might not seem like it when you want to spend ALL your time with the person you love, taking time apart from each other could be excellent news for you too. Visit your family. Go on a weekend away with your best friend. Make plans together. Go on dates. Organize adventures. Try some hobbies for couples. Fully focus on one another, and be present. Or maybe he wants a weekend to himself, in which case you can schedule a date night for the following week.
Whatever you do, get some sort of firm commitment from him in terms of when you will next see each other. Sometimes space can be as little as encouraging your man to pursue the hobbies and passions he had before the two of you met. By telling him to get back into the things you know he enjoys, you are not just giving him space, you are reminding him that your relationship and him having his own life are not mutually exclusive.
You will also show him just what a great partner you are. This is important as if you have confidence in your relationship, you can relax more into it and enjoy the time you do spend with each other. You are more likely to get what you want or need from a relationship that you are relaxed and confident in than a relationship where you are scared he is only with you because you persuaded him to be.
It may be the furthest thing from what you are feeling, but it shows confidence in yourself and that you think he will want to come back to you. That confidence is very important as not only is it attractive to others, it also means that when your relationship does start up again, there tends to be a healthier balance and respect between you both.
Another added attraction when you give a guy space is the fact that it gives you an air of mystery. This helps keep you both together in the long run as it helps the attraction between you. Guys like there to be a little bit of a chase between them and their partners, which can come from them feeling like their partner could be very happy without them.
It also gives him the time to come to that realization of his own accord and know what he is missing. In the longer term, this helps your relationship even more as you spend more quality time together which exponentially helps improve your bond.
You will find that you like the stability that this brings, which then engenders confidence in the bond you have and your relationship as a whole. Practically speaking, the less time you spend with each other, the fewer opportunities you give one another to cause irritation. Again, this helps improve the quality of your time together so that you can see having space from one another is a great benefit to your relationship over a longer period of time. Additionally, when you spend fewer moments together, when you do things that irritate one another, they will irritate you to a lesser degree.
Again, this means you have more patience with one another and that will help strengthen what you have even further. Being apart from your boyfriend can help your own confidence too. The reason being is that you will have to spend more of your free time elsewhere and you will gain confidence from being happy in yourself. Additionally, the confidence that comes from the fact that you did give him space without him losing interest is worth its weight in gold.
It means that you are never insecure around him, which can be such a source of contention for many couples. Spending time away from each other also gives you the opportunity to find happiness outside of the relationship. This is key as it gives you both room to grow as individuals, not as a pair. Trying to grow as a pair is a very difficult thing to do and often couples will find it almost suffocating, at times.
Knowing that you can go off and do your own thing while having the support of your partner who is happy with giving you the space you need is fundamental to the overall health and success of your partnership. While you may not initially feel like you want or need to grow as a person, in the longer run, it will be better for you both. When couples give each other space, they sometimes are too quick to focus on the negatives of what wanting time away from each other can mean.
What is a good idea is focusing on the positives. One of the fantastic positives to having more time outside of your relationship is that you get to see your friends and family more. So often, when we are in a relationship, it is a juggling act trying to keep up with our loved ones while trying to fit this other big love into our lives.
It may not be a course of action that you want to take initially, but you may find that once you have at least made the decision to give your boyfriend space that you are actually less stressed as a result.
This is down to making a decision for the sake of your relationship that you think will help you over the longer term. Sometimes simply deciding on a course of action is just as stressful as the heartache that a faltering relationship can cause too. Remember that you are never going to be happy in a relationship if you are too scared to make any changes for fear that it will totally dissolve.
The issues that you want to change will only get worse, so taking a decided route can sometimes be the best thing you ever do. Another reason that it can be a great idea to give one another space to figure out what both of you would like from the partnership is that it can diffuse arguments before they even start. Arguing itself is not a bad thing, but sometimes arguments get bigger than they need to be if couples don't communicate effectively with each other. This is often caused to become too heated at the moment so that you cannot see things with a clear head anymore as you have both come too emotional.
Having the confidence to give each other a chill-out space can therefore be hugely beneficial to calm down an argument so you can come back to it and resolve it more effectively.
Giving a man space can most definitely work. Men tend to need some time on their own to get back to being energized for a relationship. Time out for a man actually gives him the space he needs to miss you and realize what you both have together. There was no existing relationship to be lost, so you acted exactly how you wanted to. You feel scared, panicky, freaked out. And then you act not out of happiness, or contentment, but rather out of panic, and fear of loss.
They become about trying to make him stay with you. They become about trying to control his actions, rather than enjoying spending time with him. No one likes to have another person try to control their actions. The truth is that many guys need space in order to get their thoughts in order about a relationship. Many guys need time by themselves or at least time away from a woman in order to figure out how they really feel. A guy can have an awesome time with you on a date, can feel an amazing connection, can be head over heels for you almost instantly — and still need time and space away from you.
For lots of men, that time is crucial to sorting out his emotions.. Try giving him space to figure out what he wants — in most cases, it can be extremely rewarding. That time apart is also crucial for him to build a desire to see you again. But only if you give him space to love you. Chasing him will only push him away further. It might sound counterintuitive, but the best way to help a man get some perspective is by giving a man space in a relationship.
Giving your man space to come to his own conclusions without the pressure of disappointing his partner not only solidifies the respect you have for him, but also makes you less available and more desirable. That means that no matter what his answer is, you have to accept it without getting angry at him.
This is so important because people need to feel safe in order to be honest. If they got mad at you and were mean, how likely would you be to tell them the truth again in the future? Give men space to be honest with you, and they will be. What should you be doing? Now is the perfect opportunity to spend time on yourself. See friends that you might not have seen for a little while, pursue the hobbies that you enjoy, and do things that genuinely make you happy.
A great relationship only happens when two people who are already happy come together to be happy together, not when two unhappy people look to each other for happiness. When a guy is looking for space, lots of women make this one mistake, which all but guarantees that he moves even further away.
They make it into a game. However, what will kill a relationship every time is if you decide to punish him for making you feel hurt. Lots of women will emotionally withdraw from a guy if he starts to pull away from them, in order to try to hurt him the way that he hurt her. If a guy sees that you have that reaction to him feeling like he needs some space, it will send him running to the hills.
Especially if you were spending tons of time together. Rather than getting upset with him for being honest, giving a man space that he needs will leave him feeling impressed and understood on a deep level. That will surely make him run away. And that hurts, but at least you avoided all the drama, heartbreak, and awful feelings of trying to chase after him to get him to stay.
If you can learn how to give a man space to miss you, your relationship will be much more balanced. Maybe take a night or two off from Facetime, phone conversations, or texting.
Reach some sort of agreement on cooling off contact for a few days, and picking a date where you both will reconvene. This is where things get tricky. Sure, you can give a man all the space he needs and wants. Pick up a new hobby, make plans with that friend you keep bailing on, keep yourself busy.
Let him have some time to himself free of texts calls or check-ins to sort through his feelings. By trusting him to be himself and express his emotions with you honestly whether or not you like what you hear.
Of course, giving him space is really just the first step… but when it comes down to it there are 2 big problems every woman experiences in her relationships with men — so pay attention because what you do next is vitally important.
The second problem is this: do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material the type of woman he commits himself to or if he sees you as just a fling? Is He Losing Interest? Take the Quiz. Tagged as: does giving a man space work , give him space to miss you , giving him space when he pulls away , how to give him space , how to give him space so that he comes back , how to give him space without a breakup , how to make him miss you , relationship advice , understanding men , will he come back if I give him space.
In other words it did not bring him closer to me…. My high school sweetheart and I had been together for 4. I initiated it and then immediately regretted it but he decided he did not want to get back together as he felt we were incompatible. We had literally been fine until around August when I started having a lot of issues with my job and went into a huge depressive episode that lasted over a month.
Looking back and reflecting as I now only work part time at my new job and have had a lot of time to think and work on myself I realize the stress bled over into my personal life, I took things in the relationship as way bigger of a deal than they were, and in the process my actions matched my beliefs and I sabotaged the relationship. The breakup was in a moment of impulsive impatience.
Anyway, he asked for space and for the first week and a half I texted every few days, one time just over a confusion and once checking in. It has now been a week and a half since any contact.
Did I ruin it by not giving him absolute space in the first week-ish? Five months ago I met a guy who lives in the UK I am in the States on a dating site please, no judgement With common interests and a shared sense of humor we hit it off immediately.
We talked every single day whether it be text, phone or video chat. We exchanged Xmas gifts. We told our friends and families about each other — including his teenage daughters. As things progressed it was clear there was a stronger connection and we decided to meet in person. Things went on the back burner for that until 3 weeks ago when out of the blue he got a call things were moving forward with the job.
He warned me it would be alot of long hours and not to expect him to be around much. I understood and supported him. The first week he managed to keep in touch every day. The second week it really teetered off and last week I did not hear from him at all.
We went from talking endlessly and sharing our lives every day for months to nothing — like the flip of a switch. In my female brain I am suddenly feeling alot less important. Do I dare try and reach out again or hope he comes back around? I felt pressure to succeed. I also had immense pressure still coming from home, and my own career and all sorts of things, but he made me so happy I pressed on…. LOL or move in…I was heartbroken, and laid my heart out for him to let him know how much I cared.
I do have to step back…. I called him this morning after one agonizing day apart…. He said of course….. Yes, baby the baby jk, kick him to the curb. Asking for space in a committed relationship is either a cowardly and protracted break up or a way of putting you on ice for his own security just in case he needs you later for something.
No, no, and hell no! Do not give security in exchange for insecurity. But by all means, let him have his space, you have no choice. Thank you so much for our meaningful words. It changed my mind and made me feel better. I like the most something like :. I realized when we have something and its gone or changed we always want to keep it and control it and think its belong to us. Thank you for writing this article,it has helped me to act in a mature way.
Maybe he found out you are not interested anymore! You show your feeling to him very fast.. After a weeks, you can send a text to him, if he reply you are on the right track.
Try do not reply immediately…, take time to reply. Move on. Good Luck! I was going through a really rough patch with my job. It turned me into a completely different person that I didnt like. My boyfriend and I got into an argument. I tried to give him space and he now broke up with me. I chased after him begging. Am I doing the right thing? Will he come back to me? I give space.. How do you deal with not taking it as a personal rejection?
I love this guy and I think he is the best for me.. I just like his character.. Too bad he told me to give each other space to know what is better for us.. So my question is… Is he going to come back or am I going to lose him? My boyfriend of 7 years wanted to take a break so that we can focus on ourselves for a while.
And the crazy part is that no one saw this coming because we were so in love we were best friends. Having said that — big mistake you made was when he said he needed space — you should NOT have texted him! When a guy says he needs space — give it to him in busloads. Just leave him alone. Give your phone to your best friend if you need to to keep yourself from calling him in a moment of weakness. Schedule activities every night if you need to — put in more time at work, spend time with friends, work out, get a massage… get a second job.
Just do NOT contact him. Every once in a while, YOU take some space before he does. So instead of waiting for him to ask for it — you wait 10 days and then you pull back and schedule a weekend with some girlfriends or some volunteer activities or a weekend seminar.
YOU be unavailable. Right now I am dealing with this myself. My boyfriend has, admittedly, got a lot going on right now. I was irritated and unfortunately I let myself get angry with him. I plan to be unavailable tonight if he calls me.
I made plans to get together with a friend tomorrow night. I am going to give him MORE space than he wants…. Will this work?
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