Obviously the feminist movement has pushed over and over again to get women out of the home and into the workplace, but then women got there and are still not paid equally. You tie that feminist struggle into the myth of loving your work. The story was always that women are not supposed to work.
Women are too fragile or too angelic or too any number of things in order to go into the workplace. So the exceptions to that become things like teaching and nursing, which look a lot like the work that women did in the home already. And now during the pandemic, we see all these surveys that say when both parents and kids are at home, women in heterosexual relationships are now doing the majority of the nurturing and teaching and cleaning and laundry during lockdown in addition to their work.
Yeah, the family is a style of work. So, that style of work creeps into workplaces. I was struck in your book about the observation that work has pervaded our personal lives too. At one point you point to the fact that we even use the term partner to refer to a spouse. But could you expand on why work invading our personal lives is a bad thing? Think about the way that Tinder becomes a job application, right? And especially now that we work at home, the boundaries of everything are blurred.
If work becomes the thing we have to love, then what happens on the other end of the things we used to love? And this is complicated by the fact that for a lot of people, we do love some of the work we do. This is important because every job has aspects that will be very unpleasant for you. You need to be able to get through them with a smile on your face. Let me give you a personal example. Coming out of college I helped start a company that required me to develop a sales pattern to teach to others.
The nature of the sales contact was face-to-face cold calling. So much so that, for the first year, I got up every weekday, threw up, and then went to work. Although my specific job literally made me sick, I was proud and took satisfaction in the way I was doing the job. I was giving it my best. Somebody had to create a successful way of selling our product, and money and manpower restrictions made me the best choice.
Because I needed to make a living. I saw a significant opportunity for my partners and myself. And as importantly, it made me feel good about myself. I enjoyed undertaking something and giving it my best.
It made me feel better about me, and my life as a whole. Passionate about the job…no. Passionate about how well I did the job…yes. For a few of those folks, it was their dream job. For most, it was an okay way to make a good living. As for me, I moved to a job that I disliked less. You are. Do your job well for YOU. Be able to pat yourself on the back at the end of every day. By doing so, you also set yourself up for finding, within your company or somewhere else, a job you will enjoy more.
And you may discover, as you focus on doing it better, that some of the irritants of your job become more rewarding, or at least less lousy. For me, I eventually grew to like sales, though never to love it. However, after 30 professional years, I am fortunate to have created a job I love doing.
It would have never happened without my previous work experiences, many of which were less than ideal. This means that every time you are given a task and view it negatively, this mindset is already making it harder for you to complete your work. Doing work you love is energizing and creates a positive feedback loop that fuels productivity.
Your passion for the work energizes you and vice versa, giving you more fuel to put towards success. The trick is figuring out how to make yourself love your work — even the most tedious of tasks. Csikszentmihalyi discovered that once you take on a task with a positive mindset and think of the benefits you can reap from completing this project, your work is more likely to happen in a steady, concentrated flow.
Being in this state of mind means you will be highly focused and fully absorbed in the task at hand, just as you would be while doing something you really enjoy. Being able to fully devote yourself to a task and give it your all will make you more productive and knowledgeable, leading you towards success at work.
People are more confident at tasks that are more natural and seem to flow. This pertains to anything from writing emails, speaking to large groups, or even creating a presentation. Use a positive mindset to find your drive and build confidence in yourself. If you feel confident and secure with the work you are producing, you will be able to complete it to your fullest potential.
Without this overall positive mindset, confidence is lacking and can lead to second-guessing yourself and becoming inefficient. To manage stress levels and minimize unhappiness at work, create a system for tracking your commitments and managing your schedule.
Stay organized enough that you can judge quickly and accurately whether you are actually able to commit to a request or a new assignment. Don't volunteer for additional work or office tasks if you don't have time. If your workload is regularly exceeding your available time and energy, don't accept the unhappy status quo. Talk to your coworkers to see if anyone else is feeling the same way, then talk to your boss about how the company can provide the additional time, help, or resources that employees need.
Participating in a toxic work environment will increase your unhappiness, no matter how much you enjoy your job. Choosing to be happy at work means avoiding negative conversations, gossip, and unhealthy work relationships as much as possible.
No matter how positively you feel, negative people have a profound impact on your psyche. If you find that certain groups at work are more likely to engage in negative behaviors such as gossip or complaining, try to distance yourself from those people. If that's not possible, do your best to redirect conversations onto more positive topics.
You can also choose to talk to your employer about creating a company culture that values positivity and cooperation, rather than competitiveness, to create a happier work environment for all employees. Many people are afraid of conflict, especially in a work setting when it feels like conflict can impact your professional future and financial security.
If you've never learned how to engage in meaningful conflict, you likely think of it as scary, harmful, and hurtful. Conflict can be negative, but if it's done well, conflict can also help you accomplish your work mission and your personal vision.
When addressed openly, with positive communication, clear goals, and respect for your coworkers and supervisors, conflict can be a positive thing at work. Standing up for principles or ideas that you believe in can help you serve customers, create meaningful change, and be more successful at your job. Practicing professional courage can also create new opportunities for you, either in your current position or further in your career. And when you stand up for your ideas, goals, and dreams, you are more likely to feel proud of yourself and happy with your choices.
Employees spend a lot of time at work; enjoying the coworkers that you spend time with there is one of the hallmarks of a positive work experience. Feeling understood and valued by even one coworker, especially if that's someone you interact with regularly, can significantly increase your daily happiness at work. You don't need to love your job, but it shouldn't make you miserable on a regular basis. If creating any happiness at work feels impossible, you may be stuck in a toxic work culture or a job that simply cannot be a good fit for you.
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